Read Alpha Killian by Jane Doe Chapter 11
We sat in silence for the next few hours. I was doing everything I could to silence my wolf’s perverted thoughts. I couldn’t help but find them equally tempting as well. I couldn’t stand how the mate bond made me act. I had just met this man last night and I was already willing to crawl into his bed.
Something had to change. I wasn’t sure how long I would last until I finally caved in.
I pushed any thoughts about Alpha Killian out of my head and tried my best to think of anything else. I wondered what Hazel’s mate was like, what she might be doing at this time. I wondered where Brandon’s mate could possibly be and why he hadn’t found her at the ball.
My thoughts consumed me for awhile, and I had hardly noticed as we hopped on an exit from the highway.
“Are we here?” I asked softly, not daring to turn my eyes to Alpha Killian. I didn’t want to deal with the feelings his silver gaze would provoke, and my wolf would only encourage those feelings, making them that much harder to resist.
After a few seconds of silence, I wonder if he had even heard me. It was then I turned my gaze to Alpha Killian and noticed he was already looking at me. I could see something flash behind his eyes, but it was gone before I could wonder what it had been in the first place.
“We are staying at a hotel for the night. We will continue in the morning.” His deep voice confirmed and I couldn’t help but feel a pang of anxiety. Me and Alpha Killian, alone, in a hotel room. I tried to take a few calming breaths as I looked down at my hands.
“This is going to be fun.” Sierra practically purred, loving the thought of being alone with Alpha Killian, a nice soft bed in the room.
“Sierra, please. I’m already fighting against myself, I can’t fight you too.” I choked out, feeling extremely overwhelmed at the moment.
“Claire, this is nature. He’s mate. Were supposed to be with him.” Sierra frowned at me. I could feel her need to be close to her mate, and it mirrored my own.
“I know that…” I paused, “Look, all I’m asking is to not make this more difficult, just for tonight. I’m not ready for that yet. You know what it would do to me.” I choked out, blinking back the tears that wanted to spill from my eyes.
Not a chance, I would not cry in front of this man. He already witnessed me almost being raped, there was no way l would let myself randomly burst into tears.
“Alright, fine. Just tonight though. You need to work through these issues Claire.” Sierra scolded me, showing her obvious disappointment that we wouldn’t complete the mating process tonight.
For the time being, I ignored Sierra’s comment. I knew she was right. But that dam I had been using to hold everything back was too big to knock down. I had too much behind that dam, threatening to come out. If I knocked it down now, I don’t know if I’d ever come back.
We pulled off the highway and quickly made our way the hotel Alpha Killian had told me about. I looked up at the huge building in wonder. I had never stayed in a hotel quite like this. Each summer we would travel to another pack for the Moon Ball, but we never stayed in anything nicer than the town’s local Inn.
As we pulled into a parking space in front of the hotel, I finally noticed the other black vehicles that had been following us. Two black vehicles parked on both sides of us and two men hopped out of each vehicle. I hadn’t even noticed Alpha Killian had hopped out of the hummer until my door was being opened for me.
I hopped out of the hummer and made my way around to the trunk, shocked to see Alpha Killian pulling my luggage out for me.
We made our way into the hotel in silence. I felt my gut clench as Alpha Killian stopped at one of the rooms and opened the door for me to enter. He followed in silently, my luggage following behind him. I couldn’t help but feel relief at the fact that there were two beds in the room. I could sleep by myself and maybe get some peace from the tempting thoughts that seemed to enter my head at random.
I watched silently as Alpha Killian placed my suitcase against the far wall of the room.
“Alpha Killian?” I found myself asking hesitantly, my words yet again coming out softly. If I was going to live with this man, I would need to find some control of my voice.
“Yes, little mate?” Alpha Killian replied, his stormy eyes meeting my own. I could feel my gut clench as my instincts urged me to embrace him, to feel his skin against my own.
“Are we both staying in this room?” I found myself asking hesitantly, resisting the urge to cringe as his expression turned dark.
“We are mates, are we not?” His deep voice questioned me, but I knew he wasn’t expecting an answer. I suddenly felt the intense urge to leave the room, lyrics desperately needed some alone time, regardless of what my instincts wanted me to do.
Without another word, I pulled my suitcase to the floor and opened it, rummaging for something to sleep in. I finally settled on a grey tank top and a black pair of shorts. I grabbed my clothing, making sure to hide the panties I had chosen at random, and headed towards the bathroom.
“Where are you going?” I heard Alpha Killian ask, his deep voice threatening to send chills down my spine. If it wasn’t Sierra placing perverted thoughts in my head, it was my own d**n instincts. At this moment they were telling me to fall into the arms of my mate and let fate take it’s course. I knew if I pushed too hard I would end up mated and no longer innocent.
“I’m getting a shower.” I stated, my voice still soft, but my tone made it clear that I wasn’t asking for permission. Without looking into his stormy eyes that always drew me in, I retreated into the bathroom like the coward I am.
I walked into the hotel bathroom, somewhat marveling at how nice it was in comparison to my home- old home. I turned the water on in the shower and made my way to the mirror. I looked at my reflection, wondering if it had changed. After all, I finally found my mate. Wouldn’t I look older? More mature or distinguished?
“We were born to be a Luna, we just couldn’t see it before.” I heard Sierra chime in my head, and I found myself wondering how true her words were.
While I trusted the Moon Goddess, I couldn’t possibly see myself as a Luna. Helping lead and run an entire pack seemed almost impossible.
With a sigh, I stripped off my clothes and hopped into the shower, thankful I had brought my favorite vanilla body wash with me.
Once I was finished, and felt much less flustered, I threw on my night clothes and made my way out of the bathroom. I did my best to not look at Alpha Killian, but when I did, I could feel the heat rush to my face. He was laying back on one of the beds, his shirt removed, wearing nothing other than a pair of loose hanging shorts. It took all of my willpower to keep my jaw from dropping to the floor. I couldn’t help but note how flawless his chest was. I had somewhat expected to see numerous scars, proof that he had k****d countless wolves and humans alike, but his skin was clear and inviting to my touch. My eyes lingered on the intricate tattoo that spiraled around one of his pectorals and flowed up the side of his neck. My fingers twitched, wanting nothing more than to trace the pattern that had been imbedded in his skin. I could see each muscle as it ripped on his strong chest, and in that moment I wanted nothing more than to curl up next to him and feel them for myself.
Remembering his words in the car, I stifled my thoughts about his toned and enormous body. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of smugness as his stormy eyes darkened as he took in what I was wearing. What was tempting about a tank top and a pair of shorts, I’d never know.
I walked back over to my suitcase and placed my d***y clothes in one of the side pockets. I dug around in my suitcase for a few minutes until I finally found what I had been looking for.
“Everything alright, little mate?” I heard a deep voice call out from behind me. Naturally, I jumped and let a little squeak emerge from my mouth. I stood and turned around to see Alpha Killian standing awful close behind me.
“You scared me.” I frowned, my voice sounding small. I watched as the corners of his full lips twitched. I wasn’t sure if they twitched in amusement or disappointment.
“My apologies.” I watched his pink lips form a small smirk as he replied. I sent him my best attempt at a glare, and picked up my stuffed bear that I had been looking for. My grandfather had given me this bear when I was only 9 years old, a month before he passed away. I couldn’t explain my attachment to the bear, but it was the last thing I had of my grandfather. I had been as close to him as I was to Derek. Growing up, it seemed like he was the only one who understood me. He had always told me l got my strength from him, but now I wondered if I truly was strong. If I was strong, I would’ve been able to get away last summer. That horrific day would have never happened.
“What is this?” I heard the familiar deep voice ask, the words cascading over my head like honey. His voice pulled me from the horrific memories that threatened to leak through the dam. My eyes slowly trailed from his emotionless face to his outstretched arm that gestured at my stuffed bear.
“Oh this is pickles.” I looked up into his stormy eyes, a small smile forming on my face as I remembered when I had named him.
“Pickles?” Alpha Killian repeated, his voice trailing off as he looked at the stuffed bear in my hands. I couldn’t place his tone, or the emotion on his face but at the time it didn’t matter.
“Yup! My grandpa got me him before he died.” I frowned, not wanting to dredge up those horrible memories.
“And you named him Pickles?” Alpha Killian questioned, one of his dark eyebrows raising questioningly.
“…It made sense at the time.” I paused, a pout forming on my face. It was one thing to toy with me, but another thing entirely to mess with Pickles. This bear helped me sleep even on my most stressful of nights.
Alpha Killian was quiet as he looked down on me, and yet again I wondered what was running through his head.
“What are you thinking?” I found myself asking, my head tilting to the side ever so slightly, as if that would better help me read his mind. Involuntarily I yawned, the events of today finally catching up to me.
“I am thinking, it is time for bed my little mate.” After a long pause he finally replied, and I knew it wasn’t what he had been thinking about.
“That wasn’t what you were thinking.” I frowned, feeling bolder with him than life had in the past. Sure, he still frightened me, but if I was going to live with this man I may as well get to understand him. A mate was supposed to be closer to you than anyone else, so I deserved to know who Alpha Killian was behind the mask.
With a smirk placed on his flawless face, he walked over to the bed closest to the window and plopped down, his eyes meeting my own tauntingly. With my face still formed in a pout, Pickles and lard walked over to the other bed, pulling the covers back and settling in for the night.
“Goodnight Alpha Killian.” I yawned, my eyes already beginning to close on me.
“Goodnight, my little mate.” I thought I heard him reply, but I was already fast asleep.