Read Alpha Killian by Jane Doe Chapter 21
Alpha Killian was quick to return after Maria had left.
After much convincing, he unhooked me from the hospital machines that were nestled between my bed and the bedside table. I told him that we both needed to eat. I knew I wouldn’t be left alone for quite some time, so I wasn’t surprised that he followed me downstairs and into the kitchen.
Alpha Killian began pulling some ingredients out to make pasta, but I stopped him.
“Killian.” I frowned, placing a hand on his arm without even thinking. He skillfully hid the surprise from his face, but I could practically feel it radiating off of him. The familiar sparks shot up my hand and leg nearly sighed at their calming effect.
“Hm?” His head was turned in my direction, his silver eyes locked on my own. I was standing so close to him that I could practically feel the heat radiating from his body, his musky sandalwood and citrus scent invaded my nose.
“Sit down. I’m cooking this time.” I frowned when his lips pressed together, his reluctance was tangible in the air around us.
“I will cook for us.” He nodded, continuing to set out the ingredients for dinner.
“Killian.” I grumbled, stepping in between him and the counter. His eyes instantly darkened as his he looked down at me. My heart hammered in my chest, but I could feel how stubborn he was. I could tell that he wanted to take care of me, but I wasn’t the one who needed taking care of at the moment.
Doing something I knew I would regret later on; I placed my hand against his chest and pushed. A small pout formed on my lips when he didn’t budge.
“Look, you saved my life. And if you didn’t notice, you look like you’re d**d on your feet. You took care of me, let me have a turn.” I pouted as I looked into his dark eyes. I did my best to shield my thoughts from him, especially Sierra’s thoughts.
While she still sat in the back of my mind, I could feel her purring at the fact that we were touching our mate. While she didn’t openly say anything, she urged me to seek comfort in Alpha Killian’s arms, something I was not ready for yet.
As Alpha Killian looked down at me, darkness still swirling in his eyes, he grimaced. I watched as he closed his eyes and seemed to take a few calming breaths.
“That’s not fair, little mate.” He breathed out through his nose, stepping away from me as the smell of sweet peppermint swirled around me.
I could feel his stubborn resistance shatter like a thin sheet of glass. I was almost surprised at how easy I had swayed him.
Alpha Killian sat on a stool at the island, his silver eyes locked on my every move. While I could feel his caution, I could also feel longing. The longing part made me feel self-conscious.
I worked silently as I threw dinner together. Typically, anytime I tried to cook, something would go wrong. This time, I wracked my brain for every little thing my mother had tried to teach me about cooking, praying I at least made something edible.
“Don’t forget to put water in the pot.” Alpha Killian’s stated as my back was turned towards the pot of sauce I was trying to heat up.
“C**p”, I mumbled. Somehow in the midst of my Alpha Killian themed thoughts, I definitely forgot to add water to the pot of pasta.
His amusement made me grimace.
“Uh, Claire…” This time his voice was uneasy, which caused me to turn away from the stove and gaze at him with confusion in my eyes.
“Wha-” My question was cut short when the sauce pan of pasta sauce popped and basically exploded behind me.
A mix between a gasp and a scream left my lips as the wall behind the stove was coated in marinara sauce. I jerked around and quickly removed the steaming sauce pot from the stove and onto one of the counters.
I glared at Alpha Killian and the smirk that threatened to make its way on his full lips. He stood from the stool to try and help me, but I pointed one of the spoons at his chest and gave him my best d***h glare.
“Sit down.” I glared, trying to growl at him, but I’m sure I sounded like an angry puppy in comparison. My face was as red as the pasta sauce that had splattered on the walls.
With his hands raised in surrender, and a smirk forming on his face, he lowered himself back down on the stool and watched me silently.
“You weren’t lying when you said you couldn’t cook.” His amused voice rang in my ears, causing me to shoot him an incredulous look. I may not be strong or ferocious, but this man definitely had a d***h wish.
“You happen to be very ferocious.” Alpha Killian’s smirk deepened as he practically read my mind, his eyes trailing over my heated cheeks.
Grumbling to myself about cocky Alphas, I continued the nearly impossible quest of cooking an edible dinner.
I did the best I could at finishing the rest of dinner. I have no idea who first said that cooking was a stress reliever, because I felt more stressed than ever. I never cared about cooking before, yet some part of me wanted to do a good job for Alpha Killian. I wanted to show him that I could possibly take care of him too.
We sat in silence and ate our food, but I kept my eyes locked on his expression the entire time. This man was definitely an expert at hiding how he felt, I couldn’t see a single emotion on his face as he tried the dinner I had made.
“Is there a reason you’re staring at me, little mate?” His lips turned up in a smirk as he caught me staring. Blush flooded my cheeks as I gave him a frustrated glare.
“Is it good?” I frowned, looking between his pasta and his amused face. The silver in his eyes was so pure and bright, it almost looked like his eyes were glowing.
“Mm, it’s good.” Alpha Killian nodded, a small smile playing at his lips. I locked my eyes on his pink lips, wondering what it would look like if he fully smiled. H**l, with as fast as my heart was beating at the sight of his silver eyes and smirk, I wasn’t sure if I would survive a full smile.
The pasta was kind of hard, but also chewy. I wondered if I did something wrong, or if Alpha Killian was just trying to spare my feelings when he said the food was good.
Once we finished dinner, we walked back up to the room I had initially woken up in.
Acting on instinct, rather than rational thought, I walked into the bathroom. I ignored Killian’s eyes on my back as long rummaged around the bathroom closet. With a satisfied smile, I pulled out a little box of essential oils.
I could feel Alpha Killian’s curiosity, and his caution as I turned on the bathtub and let it fill up.
I nearly giggled as I pulled out a sandalwood essential oil, and a citrus one. Pushing my lips together as l concentrated, I poured some of each into the hot bath. I closed my eyes and let my nose take control for a moment, wanting to get the ratio of citrus and sandalwood perfect.
Once I was finished, I turned to Alpha Killian, who was leaning against the door frame watching me.
“Are you planning on letting me take a bath with you?” His lips turned up in a smirk as his eyes darkened. Why wolves were such horn dogs was beyond me, but it seemed like Alpha Killian and his wolf were usually on the same page.
“No.” I blushed, “The bath is for you, so get in.” I urged, grasping his forearm as I led him to the bathtub. I was surprised when he simply let me lead him, not putting up a fight as I practically commanded an Alpha.
“I will on one condition,” Alpha Killian smirked, and my heart rate skyrocketed, “Stay in here with me.”
“Um, but you’ll be-” I let my words trail off, knowing he’d understand exactly what I was saying. The strangest part about all of this is that the emotions and memories that tormented me were still there, ever so present in my mind, but I felt completely relaxed. The mark on my neck felt like a burden, but it also made me feel calm and safe.
“N***d. I don’t mind, little mate. Turn your head, if you can.” Alpha Killian smirked down at me, his rough hand reaching out to gently tug on a strand of my hair. His dark eyes looked into my own, and I gulped at the urge to join him.
“Fine,” I practically gasped, flopping down on a padded bench that was nestled against the sink.
Without warning, Alpha Killian began stripping his clothes. I covered my eyes with a startled squeak and grumbled at his silent chuckle.
“You can look now, little mate.” His amused voice called out, and I peeked from between my fingers.
Sure enough, Alpha Killian was completely submerged in the tub. From the angle I was sitting at, I couldn’t see any part of his lower body, not that I really tried to look. While I couldn’t see his lower body, his upper body was on full display. My eyes trailed down each of his tattoo’s, running over his hard chest, and down to the defined muscles on his stomach. Sierra purred at the sight of our mate. While she didn’t push me to do anything, I could feel her intense urge to strip down and join him.
As usual, when I did something that tempted him and his wolf, his silver eyes darkened as he watched me practically devour him with my eyes. I could feel his temptation on the tip of my tongue, sweet like honey. I had to commend him for his strength, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to hold Sierra back if she was that strong.
He had his arms spread out, resting against the ledge of the Jacuzzi like bathtub.
“This smells good. What did you use?” Alpha Killian asked. Each time I caught his eyes locked on me, I felt self- conscious but also tempted. Sierra loved the thought of our mate’s eyes darkening with lust and longing, as him and his wolf were equally tempted.
“Sandalwood and citrus.” I murmured, feeling the blood stain my cheeks, “It’s your scent.” I trailed off softly, not wanting to meet his silver gaze.
“Vanilla and light cinnamon.” Alpha Killian looked at me with a soft gaze. I could feel a strong emotion radiating from him, one that I wasn’t prepared to accept nor deal with.
“What?” I questioned, my eyes locking with his own as I fiddled with my hands.
“That’s your scent.” He gave me a very small smile, one that I was inherently grateful for. The small smile sent Sierra into a love sick frenzy, and I into a dazed state.
We both sat in the bathroom for almost an hour, and I listened intently as Alpha Killian told me more about himself. His father was incredibly cruel, even to his own mate. While his father would ignore Kira’s very existence, he treated Killian harshly, knowing he would someday be Alpha. While I felt horrible for the way him and Kira were treated, I could feel the underlying reason for him opening up to me. He wanted to show me it wasn’t a bad thing, that I could trust him above anyone else.
I could feel he was right in my bones, the mate bond tingling as I made this realization.
We made our way back into the bedroom, once Killian was fully dressed. Despite his cocky comments, I kept my head turned as he threw on a clean shirt and a pair of loose shorts.
“No,” I frowned as Killian tried to lay on the couch, “You’re sleeping in the bed.”
His eyebrow cocked at my words, a deep smirk forming on his face. The darkness swirled in his eyes, and I’m sure his wolf was putting all kinds of thoughts in his mind.
“I’m sleeping on the couch.” I stated, crossing my arms against my chest. ‘Wrong move’, my brain shouted, realizing I was wearing a white tank top, without a bra. Crossing my arms simply pushed my b*****s up.
“I’ll sleep in the bed if you sleep in it as well.” Alpha Killian tried to negotiate, “But you need to change your shirt, I don’t think any male could resist that.” He smirked, his eyes flickering down to my chest and back up to my blushing face.
‘Fine,” I grumbled, giving into Sierra’s whimpering. I threw on a simple black t- shirt from the closet and crawled into the bed.
Killian’s body heat swirled around me as he climbed under the blanket on the opposite side of the bed.
“Stay on your side and don’t get handsy.” I grumbled at him, ignoring his deep chuckle.
I was surprised at how tired I really felt. After being knocked out for a week, I didn’t think I’d be able to sleep for quite a long time. The second my head hit the pillow, and Killian’s comforting scent filled my nose, I was out.
Sleeping next to Killian was some of the most peaceful sleep I have had in a long time. Nightmares refused to plague my dreams when he was around.
My eyes fluttered open and I couldn’t help but notice he was still fast asleep. I argued with my thoughts for a moment, and could openly feel Sierra’s approval at my next actions.
I looked on at Killian’s strong face, his full eyebrows and his pink lips. He didn’t look angry or stressed, he looked peaceful. I took a mental image of his flawless face and didn’t stop my fingers when they twitched towards him, wanting to feel him while I had the chance.
I let my fingers trail across his forehead first, trailing them over his eyebrows and his temple. His cheek was rough with stubble, but the sensation was pleasing on my fingers.
My typical anti-mate thoughts tried to gain my attention, but I was s****d into the flawlessness that was Killian’s face. My hand shook as my fingers ran lightly over his lips. I tried not to sigh as I felt how soft they were. I could feel Sierra’s possessive grumble in the back of my mind.
My heart nearly stopped when Killian shifted slightly, my fingers freezing on his lower lip. I kept still until his breathing returned to normal, holding back a sigh of relief.
Ever so slowly, I trailed my fingers across his strong jaw. Knowing it was a bad idea and giving into the temptation anyway, I let my fingers trail down his neck. The sparks that ran up my fingers were comforting.
I felt myself hesitate as I reached the most sensitive spot on his neck, but I no longer had full control of myself. Sierra’s needs merged with my own, coaxing and tempting me. I ran my fingers to the perfect spot on his neck, and Sierra purred with longing.
The perfect spot for our mark.
A rough hand shot out and grabbed my wrist, pulling it from the soft skin that tempted Sierra and I. Killian’s face was inches from my own, black flecks swirling in his silver eyes.
“What do you think you’re doing, little mate?” His voice was rough from sleep, and only added to the strong desire churning in my gut.
While my breath was caught in my throat, my eyes flickered back down to that sensitive spot. Sierra was beyond elated at how things had turned out, while I was scolding myself for being so reckless.
“Claire.” His quiet growl forced me to look up, his eyes now fully black.
“S-Sorry.” I forced out of my lips, but it sounded more like a question. My cheeks heated from being caught, but my stomach was swirling with butterflies. From the hungry growI that emerged from him, he could tell I wasn’t sorry at all.
I could feel his wolf fighting for control, his desperate want for me and my mark swirling around me.
While I was beginning to accept this man as my mate, I wanted to take things slow. The tension in the room was thick and sweet, making me question how long l could truly resist.
“If anyone other than you touched me there, they would be d**d.” Killian grumbled, releasing my wrist as he laid back down on the bed. His darkened eyes never left my own.
I didn’t stick around for long, using food as an excuse to escape the pangs of longing that filled me.
The week passed by, and I soon formed a routine. Killian insisted I go to therapy every day, and for once I didn’t argue. I could feel that he wanted what was best for me.
I did my best to avoid being alone with him, not trusting my own self control. It seemed something was happening within the pack, as he was always out working. While I couldn’t tell exactly what was wrong, I knew it had something to do with rogues.
I nearly fainted when the words ‘werewolf hunter’ made themselves known in my thoughts. Using what my therapist had taught me, I counted to ten and breathed slow and evenly.
Killian didn’t tell me what was going on, and I didn’t ask. I was sure he would tell me, but at the moment I didn’t want to know. I needed to focus on getting better.
The nightmares were worse than ever without Killian in my bed, but I handled them as well as I could. The first time it happened, Killian broke down the bedroom door with his claws extended. His sleepy eyes scanned the room for threats. After the third time, he didn’t burst through the bedroom door. Every time after that, I could hear his footsteps come from down the hallway, stopping at my door. I could feel his indecision, and his determination to let me make the first move.
After a couple days of therapy, I was ready to talk to Kira. She was quick to forgive me, and even quicker to threaten me if I ever tried anything like that again. I couldn’t take her threat to heart when she pulled me into her arms and let out a sigh of relief.
Maria came to visit a lot, mostly when Killian was out working. After seeing how much she had changed since meeting her mate, we quickly became friends again.
Kira took a liking to her as well, and we often spent the weekdays roaming around the grounds.
Speaking to Sierra had proved to be more difficult. She kept silent in the back of my mind, still blaming herself. After some much needed consoling and convincing, she was beginning to forgive herself too.
I was jolted awake from a particularly horrible nightmare, the faces of Damien and Blake seared into my mind. I clamped my hand over my lips and calmed my nerves. I was getting better at calming myself down before Killian was alerted.
I listened closely for any sign of him and was relieved when I managed not to wake him up. A frustrated groan left my lips, were the nightmares ever going to let up? I was controlling the flashbacks, and my therapist helped me work through my fear and guilt. The nightmares on the other hand were relentless.
“We could always sleep with mate y’know.” Sierra’s sleepy yet smug voice echoed in my head.
My legs moved on their own accord. My arms opened my bedroom door without my permission as I made my way down the hall.
The urge to be near him was too strong, pushing me down the hallway urgently. I sighed happily as his musky scent filled my nose, and my feet halted in front of a large door.
Biting my lip, I grabbed the handle and slowly opened it. I was completely silent as I crept towards his bed. I had to stifle a giggle at the irony. The biggest and baddest Alpha was defenseless against a little girl.
I crept towards his sleeping form and reached out to climb on his ginormous bed.
A startled scream left my throat as his rough hand closed around my arm and yanked me down. I was forced on my back while an extremely large and under dressed Killian towered over me. He had straddled me and basically had me pinned beneath him. My wrists were above my head, his hand big enough to restrain them both.
The moonlight poured through his bedroom window, illuminating his face. He looked even more flawless with the moonlight casting shadows off of his eyelashes and cheekbones. His silver eyes were startling, resembling the moon entirely.
“Defenseless, hm?” Killian’s face smirked down at me, any traces of sleep removed from his eyes.
My lips couldn’t form a response. I used all of the control I had to tame the wild thoughts rolling through my mind.
I s****d in a sharp breath when Killian’s eyes roamed down my face, lingering on the clear mark on my neck. My chest heaved as his eyes traveled lower, settling on the loose tank top I had worn to bed. The bottom of my shirt had ridden up, revealing my navel.
Darkness swam hungrily in his eyes as he took me in. I squirmed under his hold as his face inched closer to my own.
“Do you have a d***h wish, little mate?” His husky voice sounded amused. His sweet peppermint breath hit my lips in little puffs.
I pursed my lips as I looked up at him. I knew I should feel afraid, but I didn’t. All I felt was desire.
“I- I wanted to ask if I could sleep with you.” I stuttered, trying to keep my mind busy. The last thing I needed was to become aroused, I don’t think I’d be able to stop myself at that point. Out of habit, I l****d my lips anxiously, a move Killian obviously caught.
“You never have to ask me for that , little mate.” His voice taunted me, as his smirk deepened. His eyes were nearly black now, trailing over my lips slowly.
Shock and desire rushed through me at his words.
“I didn’t mean that!” I sputtered, my eyes widening at his suggestive comment.
Doing something I wasn’t expecting, Killian laughed. His deep voice boomed through the quiet room as I looked at him in awe. He removed his hand from my wrists and sat back on the bed, his chest still vibrating with laughter.
I crossed my arms and tried to scowl at him, but embarrassment clouded my features.
“You’re too easy to work up, little mate.” He gave me a soft smirk, “But yes, you may sleep with me.”
Nestling myself into his warm bed, I let out a sleepy sigh and turned to face Killian.
“Thank you.” I yawned, my eyes fluttering as I tried to keep them open.
“As I said, you never have to ask.” His husky voice lulled me, “Go to sleep, Claire.”
My eyes had already fluttered closed before my name could leave his lips.