Read Alphas Possession by Jessica Hall Chapter 89
Every morning I awoke to find myself in the den, savoring the last remnants of her scent. The past four days I had spent living alone, working alone, and just being on my own. Not one of them would take my calls, I did however notice numerous calls going to Alpha Jake’s phone. I could feel their anxiousness and the way they craved her. Which was the same way I did.
I pushed them too far, and in turn, pushed her to leave us. Yet locked in my depression I couldn’t bring myself to face them. Felt their disappointment in me, crushed parts I refused for so long to allow to be broken. Or so I thought because now I realized they were never whole, to begin with. Some facade of which I thought was whole. But I was just kidding myself, hiding behind my guilt, behind my anger. My mother would be cursing my name for what I have done. I knew I should have gone with her, I shouldn’t have let her go on her own and that is a mistake I will have to live with for the rest of my life.
Climbing the stairs from the den, I moved toward the kitchen counter where I had left my phone hoping by some miracle they had called, or I would find a message saying she had returned to us. We had lost so much, but this time it wasn’t someone else that took from my mates, it was me and that guilt k****d me the most.
Staring down at the screen I see no messages or missed calls and sigh. Dialing Raidon’s number the phone rings out. Setting it down I filled the jug before I pushed the button down on the kettle. Just as I reach for my phone to try again; a message comes through from him.
Raidon: She is safe.
Three words and the relief they caused me was immense.
Me: You spoke with her? I send in return.
This was the first contact I had with any of them and I didn’t want to risk ringing and having him not answer.
Raidon: Yes, but you need to leave her alone, Thane. I know you are watching our calls and I know you know where she is.
Me: Come home. Tell her to ring me then.
Raidon: It’s not home without her.
That is all he replies, it angers me and I set the phone down. Knowing better than to reply while angry. Raidon is hot-headed and it is why we clash the most, I would get nowhere with him by arguing. But he was right, I knew she was with Jake, I also knew as much as we don’t get along, he knows better than to hurt her.
Our families are all connected. We may not see eye to eye, but there are some boundaries he will push; like at work when he was pestering me about Harlow. Yet ultimately he knows better than to cross me. Alphas are competitive by nature, he does it for the challenge but we both know who would win that one despite him having more mates than me. Technically he should be stronger, yet I was one thing he isn’t. I was Alpha of Alpha born. My mother was never just my father’s mate but their equal, my mate’s submission only enhanced that ten-fold.
Making my coffee the phone vibrates on the counter and I glance at it before reaching for it.
Raidon: She wants to come home but she is too scared to.
I stare at the screen pondering on what to reply. Yet every time I see Harlow that blistering anger returns. All I see is her drenched in my mother’s blood, see Tara and the way she manipulated us all until we were too blind to see the possibilities she took from us. I never loved Tara, I thought I did. Zara, I fell in love with only to learn she was Harlow, and just like Tara she lied. She manipulated us into believing she was someone else and I wanted to punish her for it. Instead, I see I punished all of us.
Me: Then tell her to come home.
Raidon: And what is she coming home to, Thane? She believes you want to k**l her, or believes you want to put her in rotation.
I sighed now regretting the words I told her. Not even I would be cruel enough to go through with it, nor would I subject my mates or myself to a broken mate bond by rejecting her. Or deprive my own daughter of a mother. I needed her to fear me because her fear made my anger for her somehow seem plausible.
A minute or so passes when my phone vibrates again, only this time it is a picture message. One of Harlow and her twin. The caption attached read. Her sister is alive, Jake faked her d***h.
My brows furrowed in confusion as I thought back to everything I knew, how was her sister alive? Why would Jake lie about that? But that explains why he never joined the auctions again. Not once had I seen his name listed in the monthly listings. I assumed he found an Omega within his city or one on rotation, and that’s why he was pestering me about Harlow. He had tried to cover his scent but I smelt the underlying hidden scent of an Omega on him. That’s why it angered me so much when he asked about her. That and her fear of him when he came to work that day.
Raidon: That is why he wanted her, Thane. Not for her, but for her sister.
Me: You believe him? I asked.
Raidon: I believe our mate, she is safe, but she wants to come home and I am not going to get her if you are going to lock her in that den or plan on hurting her after our daughter is born.
I s*****w trying to wrap my head around this piece of information, it did explain Jake’s unrelenting help after my mother died. I thought it was for his mother but now I questioned those intentions.
Raidon: Thane, are you going to give me an answer? What will you do if she comes back?
Me: I don’t know.
I answer honestly, knowing he would feel any deception. I didn’t know, yet without her, my pack would fall apart. Without her, I would go f*****g insane with constant worry. Yet would she even come back? I knew I would drag her back kicking and screaming if needed but they would hate me more for it. Getting dressed, I move about the house, ignoring my housekeeper’s vacuuming before grabbing my keys off the dresser. Picking them up, I spot the old photo of my parents. Guilt gnaws at me, seeing their once happy faces. Guilt for letting her go alone that day.
Yet the longer I stared the more I felt her eyes scolding me, and the more I felt the disapproval I knew she would feel over this situation. Growling, I stalk out of my room, intent to go to Elaine’s and speak with them. Their nervous energy and unease bit at me as I drove down my street, I needed to see them. Speak with them and convince them to come home. Driving across town I am distracted as I headed toward Elaine’s new house where they were.
So distracted by my thoughts I hadn’t realized I was leaving the city until I saw the sign saying so. Cursing, I pulled over stopping on the side of the road about to rip a U-turn and head back yet that tugging feeling inside and the longing from the bond had me gripping the steering wheel. My knuckles pressed tight beneath my skin and before I realized what was happening or I could stop it. I was having a panic attack.
I felt like I was d***g, that my heart would stop at any second, as sweat beaded and rolled down my neck when my phone started ringing. My mates panic bleeding into me, enforcing my own. Solidifying it in place and I found myself frozen staring at the screen’s dash of their names popping up. I was losing my d**n mind, losing myself in grief, anger, and guilt.
Never in my life had I suffered a panic attack, yet my life was so chaotic and falling apart. The very seams I had been trying to hold together tossed me blindly into the new experience. Names kept popping up as Raidon, Leon and Elaine tried calling me. I knew they could feel it and knew it would be a foreign feeling for them from me. Yet my hands were locked on the steering wheel as I tried to break the course of the adrenaline pumping through my veins. I could hear them in my head trying to talk to me, hear the mind link open yet I was muted, stunned, and embarrassed by what was happening. I felt weak, yet just as it would feel like it was easing another surge would rush through me.
The Bluetooth speaker started ringing again, a private number popped up while they kept telling me to answer their calls, telling me to pick up and calm down. With great force, my finger slides over the button on the steering wheel.
“You’re scaring everyone, please speak,”
The moment I heard her voice I broke. The panic attack broke and was replaced with the grief of what I lost. I lost the family I created, I tried to hurt her, and yet here she was calling me despite fearing me. Whether it was because she cared or she was calling for them or because they asked her to, I didn’t care. Just relieved and destroyed at the same time hearing her voice.
“You’re okay, Thane. I’m right here,” she tells me as I press my head against the steering wheel. S*****g in a huge lung full of air feeling as if my lungs had compressed.
“Breathe, Thane, it will pass. Just listen to my voice, and breathe,” she says and I nod, focusing on her voice as she said while I cried stupidly into my steering wheel. I felt ridiculous, I didn’t even cry at my parent’s funeral. I didn’t cry when Tara turned up d**d. I never cried, I always saw it as weakness, and here I was crying over Harlow leaving us, crying over the shame I felt knowing I let my mother down.
Crying over the woman I wanted nothing more than to protect but hurt beyond belief because I was too stubborn to see what was right in front of my face. She wasn’t capable of hurting anyone. I blamed her so I didn’t have to blame myself for not going with my mother that day to get her. Rhen was right, I blamed her because I needed to believe I hadn’t wasted the past couple of years hating the one woman I now loved.